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Still, she does top-notch breasts and a smashing house, which is more than most of us.
"The house is just so lonely without her." There are tears in Meg's eyes, and I don't think they are fake. She has always been defined, publicly at least, in relation to someone else and it will be hard to work her way out of it.
Charlie, a rescued mutt, died at 16 not so long ago. He slept between us for the whole of our relationship. I've always wondered, though, if you can breastfeed with implants.
Yet the media still portray her as a self-indulgent, grasping party animal. Well, OK, the boob job is true What can I tell you about Meg Mathews, formerly Mrs Noel Gallagher, aside from what you might have already gathered from Heat and Now and Closer, and which always seems to involve being pictured with vast Gucci shopping bags or staggering out of some party, often much the worse for wear? She says: "Here, have a feel," and whips her top up. They feel heavy-ish but not particularly scary, like big, warm marshmallows constrained by a massive extra dose of surface tension. OK, then, Supernova Heights, which was actually in the Belsize Park end of Primrose Hill. I was told about cabbage leaves and all that, but it killed me. She shows me mummy's dressing room (spilling with Blahniks) and her own room (built-in fairy castle, mini Juicy Couture in the closet) and mummy's bedroom, which is light and gauzy and has one of those free-standing baths that I've always yearned for and think I could look lovely in, in a lesbian kind of way, and perhaps while reading something from Virago. Meg, in fact, looks much like a Fiona Millar - Alastair Campbell's partner - gone all razzle-dazzley and orange. But they wanted me to have a good education." And did she get a good education?
I think I remark, on noting the chute-like appearance of her cleavage, and assuming that silicone has had something of a say, that I'd always wondered what enhanced breasts actually feel like. Meg's mates, the Sadies and Patsys and Kates and Stellas and Jades, all sort of appear to come from Primrose Hill, even though some of them don't. "I'd read all the Mallory Towers books and really wanted to go to boarding school. "Basically, the old headmaster left and the new headmaster wanted to get rid of the people he thought were rebels. I don't want you to stay in Norfolk and marry a pony-club person or a young farmer.'" She did a variety of jobs in London: selling wigs; an assistant in Joseph; PA to Betty Boo, a pop star; and then at a music management company, which is where she first met Noel. He wrote "Wonderwall" for her, or so she always thought.
Or if I do, I go to the local pub and have a drink and then come home, and they still make out... I have sat here crying but now I'm not going to feel sorry for myself..."So much of what's been written, she says, is rubbish. She was born in Guernsey, to Stan, a builder, and Christine, a secretary.
(If I am to move in, I think I must stipulate that I am in charge of the remote control.) "I don't even go out any more. "I did not have a Caesarean." She never planned a £50,000 birthday party for Anais. So, who is this Meg Mathews, still best known for the man she's no longer married to and the things she doesn't do any more? I'm not going to talk about it because it's not fair if you have kids." This is frustrating, of course, but only right and proper, so I lay off, or would have done, if I hadn't tried again.
Inside, it is something of a hymn to Farrow & Ball, all dark mauves and dark greens, and old Japanesey things combined with the terribly modern, like the pink neon "Bollocks" running up the stairs. It is also full of lots of framed photos and little knick-knacks. Not always, and not when they're dead, or stuffed, but generally.