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Leigh says those sometimes-awkward “status” conversations are extra-important when trying to navigate a non-exclusive coupling.“As women, we’re conditioned to not talk about the status of a relationship — it’s that B. from Relationships By The Numbers Indeed, when it comes to the strictly monogamous ideal being the status quo, the fantasy may be starting to stray (ahem) further from the reality.As more of us dip our toes in those waters, the cultural stigma long associated with non-monogamy is beginning to shift.
It would bother me if he hooked up with someone else.”That anecdote dovetails perfectly with one of the myths nay-sayers echo to undermine non-monogamous relationships: that it's just a phase until the right person comes along.
Beth, 40, of Baltimore, takes issue with that idea.
Conley says that “polyamorous couples are often shown to be more satisfied and trusting than monogamous couples." And, she explains, “In one sample I have of monogamous and [consensually non-monogamous] individuals, the consensually non-monogamous groups' relationships were significantly longer than the monogamous group."But, Don’t People Get Jealous?
Many partners in non-monogamous relationships develop a feeling called “compersion,” or a sense of enjoyment and pleasure when their partner has found someone else they also love or want to be with. Stewart, a psychotherapist and dating coach, conceptualizes compersion as “the opposite of selfishness,” and she’s seen it play out in various non-monogamous clients’ lives.
She remembers telling her then-boyfriend when she was 25 that she wanted to hook up with others.