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I wrote an entry on this site for 1000 straight weekdays from 2008 to 2012 while processing the loss of my marriage and a close friend.
This blog was my home, my community, and in a lot of ways, my therapy. But I knew I wasn’t necessarily happy and neither were they.
Our relationship is marveled at largely because most people do not believe that a man like Aaron should have to “compromise” his heteronormative social standing by being with a trans woman or a woman who is not “real.” It is rare for an openly trans woman – no matter how “passable” or attractive she is – to have a man who openly loves her, who has an unabashed desire to be seen with her, who proudly stands beside her — despite the stigma and other people’s curiosities and inappropriate questions.
Those questions regarding Aaron’s sexuality are constant and fraught with assumptions that this essay can’t begin to unpack, and for a man less secure it can be difficult navigating these questions, especially if you also perceive the women you’re attracted to as shameful, as less-than-human objects you must keep secret at all costs.
We are worthy of being seen and are not dirty or shameful.